We invite you to take time with each of these questions and do your own personal relationship assessment exercise.
1) What is the level of Mutuality in my relationships? Can I offer and receive support, or am I always in the role of being the ‘one-in-need of help’, or the ‘helper’? Am I stuck in a pattern of being ‘one-up’ in relationships, or, possibly, ‘one-down’?
2) Is there an explicit agreement in my relationships that we are committed to each other’s growth and positive evolution?
3) Do my relationships reflect a commitment to core values, such as, the Good, True, and Beautiful, that give life meaning and purpose?
4) Do my relationships have a built in understanding that ‘messes and mistakes’ are part of the interpersonal territory, and self-correction and repair essential to the human experience?
5) Can I be my best and most authentic self in my relationships? Do I call forth the best from the Other?
6) What are my agreements about Feedback in my relationships? Do I seek it out, welcome it, and invite both constructive and appreciative feedback? Do I take risks and inquire: ‘What is the impact I have on you?’ or ‘What do you think are blind-spots I have about myself?’
And, finally, we leave you with the mindfulness statement we use in our Patterns of Relationships class:
“Relationship is all there is…”
You can say this phrase to yourself when you are in a relaxed state of mind, and just notice what happens in your sensations, thoughts, feelings, or movement impulses. Share with someone you care for. Let us know how it goes!